Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Today is one of those days...

I opened the door today, struggling to get the groceries in, the kids waiting for me in the car to come and unbuckle them, to find a mess once again all over the floor. Moe had gotten into the trash again. I flew into a tizzy. Almost loosing it and feeling myself grow too frustrated for words. I yell at the dogs, force them out the back door, quickly attend to the mess and venture back to the garage. When I approach Charlotte's side she is crying, whining about who knows what. I unbuckle her and in a frustrated tone tell her to go inside. Then I approach Douglass Charles' side of the car and quickly remove him. I am not here, I am not present, I am just trying to keep it together.

You see today is one of those days that the outside world doesn't see - the kids not minding, the dog tearing into the trash, the tantrum that ensues from this mother. It is one of those days I don't want you to see. You know I get frustrated you are human after all, but I don't want you to believe that I loose my cool and today I did.

Today is one of those days where I cry out to God during naptime prayers and beg Him to help me and forgive me for being such a poor example. Today is one of those days I collapse into my unmade bed at naptime and seriously wonder if I will have enough energy to finish the day. Today is one of those days...

But in my effort to be a good mother, be a good friend, be a good example I realize, I put too much pressure on myself. What truly matters most... the laundry or reading books joyously before naptime, a clean floor or a few moments of play before lunch, a made bed or a few snuggles and tickles with my two precious little ones.

You see on days like today, I get off course because I fail to see the importance in tickles, bookreading, and the ever important play. I focus too much on ALL the tasks at hand and I loose it. May we all remember, on days like today, to set the tasks aside and refocus our attention on the bigger picture - like tickling, snuggling, and saying "I love you!"

4 comments:

The Kimmels said...

I can relate. Not with the kids...one can only wish...but with everything else. I've had 'one of those days' pretty frequently lately. Wondering how I'm ever going to get it all done. Wondering how I can be a great wife, sister, daughter, friend while all along questioning my own beliefs and everyday actions. Wondering how I can just "pretend" to be Ok or "make" myself Ok. Its definitely more important to enjoy the fun things but sometimes its just not doable. Anyway, Just wanted to say I can relate. see you soon.

Alison said...

Totally understand. I wasn't trying to say not to worry about the tasks, because they have to be worried about. I am just saying that sometimes when I get too overwhelmed and completely lose it, it is better for me to stop and refocus. Everything will be there "when I get back" and putting myself in check will hopefully help me not loose it as soon next time. Oh the joys of juggling. I'm afraid I am not too good at it. :)

Courtney said...

I had a day like that today too. Such a good reminder to focus on what really matters.

Huckaby Fam said...

Thanks for the needed reminder :)