Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Soft Pang of A Ticking Clock

Sorry, no pictures. I had to write while I was in the moment. I just put my sweet baby boy to bed. It is almost 8:00. Doug is working on his masters and Charlotte is watching Caillou (her favorite right now).

I felt a soft pang this evening as I put my Douglass Charles to bed. He is nearly seven months now and I wonder - especially this evening - where the time has gone. It keeps ticking away with no thought towards my "enjoying" my second born's babyhood.

I realized tonight as I read him Goodnight Moon that this time is way too short. As I watched his small, dimpled hand scratch the pages of that little book I wondered, will I remember this?

My mother told me over and over again to enjoy the small things with my first - holding her, rocking her, reading to her, the little moments that every mother treasures - because once the next one comes along the time won't be there. I think about this and it is so unfair - to me and my second born. She was right and there are many days I must stop - like tonight - and remind myself to cherish Douglass Charles' babyhood.

With Charlotte on the brink of turning two this hits home even more. Before I know it, he, too, will no longer be a baby. He will be my little boy. While I don't wish him to be a baby forever, I do wish that ticking clock would just slow down a bit. I am sure this won't be the last time that I wish this wish.