I guess someone told me when I became a mother that I would be overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings - complete and absolute joy, aggrevating frustration, more tired than I ever believed I would feel, elation at the simplest things, and overwhelming guilt. I honestly do my best but it is on days like today that I wonder if I should just hang it up and go back to work - would my kids be better off?
Now, I know what you are thinking, "Alison, you do work." Yes, but working from home and working away are two very different things. I know that motherhood is work regardless if there is "another job" and no matter whether you are in the home, at a job during the day, or a work from hom mom like me you have these feelings.
So today, I am tired - oh so tired - and my children seem to be punishing me. I have had too much work on my plate and I have shamelessly left my toddler to watch way too many hours of television. This is when the guilt sets in. I worry about neglect, am I spending too much time on other things, do I really have a choice when I have a short timeline to get things done for work - and so goes the conversation with myself in my head.
I remind myself that I am a good mother. No, I am not even close to perfect, but I sure do try hard, I love my children completely, and even in my absolute exhaustion I would never give them back. Today I feel guilty, tomorrow - who knows. The purpose of this post - I have no clue. I only have this to say, with all the frustrations and negative feelings, being a mother is one of my most favorite things. I love my children and just wish that I could be easier on myself. So moms (and dads) give yourself a little pat on the back today. You are doing a good job and don't listen to those little lies that are telling you otherwise.