Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I have a ... girl!
There are so many wonderful things about having a little girl. I have a girly one and for a girly momma, that is just plain fun - the dresses, the bows, and she loves everything pink. But like her ole momma, my girl, well she is emotional. I come from a very emotional and tearful family and it seems that my genes have not been wasted on my girl.
Lately, Charlotte has been on the weepy side. It doesn't really seem to matter what is going on, there always seems to be tears. I struggle with this, because her emotions are just a little too similiar to mine. When I find myself cringing over new hysterics I remind myself that she is just acting like me.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not walking around my house having an emotional tantrum all the time. I have learned to control some of my emotions, but the drama that ensues from my little red-head can be somewhat exhausting.
Like the other day, I am not really sure what happened, but as I approached the back door Charlotte was walking towards me. As I stepped outside she dropped down on her bottom, leaned to her back and started wailing. When I asked her what was wrong, she just got louder. I tried again, no response just more crying. There was nothing around her, her brother wasn't pestering her, she was just walking along, dropped down to the ground, and started crying. Finally, I told her if she didn't calm down and tell me what was wrong I was leaving. Still no response. So, I left her outside, lying on her back, sobbing toward the sky and went about my business.
I went to check on her a few minutes later and the same emotional fit was being thrown. I asked for specifics on what happened and still nothing, just hysterical sobs. I left her again.
Five minutes later she came and found me and stated, "Mommy, I am done now." So I asked her what was wrong. Soft tears rolled down her cheek, "I wanted the dog in Douglass Charles' bucket." Really, that was what all THAT was about. Ironically, Douglass Charles had been with me the whole time - without the bucket and the so desired dog.
I later felt guilty for leaving her outside to wallow in her sorrow - showing no compassion towards her ridiculous fit. You may think my feeling guilty is silly - because we all know you aren't to give into a tantrum. It is attention they seek and this is the wrong kind of attention, right? I felt guilty because I too often fall into one emotional heep and just need a hug, a kind word, or someone telling me everything will be alright.
So, this emotional mommy, with her emotional daughter, struggles with the balance of discipline, love, and that line where tears should be comforted or ignored. Its tough being a girl with all those feelings wanting to bubble up. And sometimes just laying in the floor and crying up to the sky is the only way one can find to cope - even if it is ridiculous. :)